Well I guess I really am an idiot
by MrDyl55
Summary: When Irish born Dan O'Neil is transferred to a prestigious prep-school in Japan can he learn to live in a culture so different to his own. Disclaimer: I do not own Baka and Test this is purely an exercise in creativity. Ps: This is my first story on this site so I encourage criticism. It helps me improve my storytelling for the next time.
1. Part 1

_Part 1: New places, old memories and a big exam._

Spring in Japan is so alien to me. The cherry blossoms in their pink bloom are nothing like the vibrant lime green leaves of the Ash, Hazel or Oak the trees that I had grown up with. However the memories that I have of home are those of summer, I suppose have they have no relevance. Spring in Ireland is dark, wet and cold and there is more chance of snow than there is during the generally dry, mild winters. The memories of my bright green childhood always were of summer but, in more recent years I began to enjoy the hostile spring too. All that is in the past though so there is no point wasting my thoughts, after all the pink is quite beautiful too.

My mind was wandering a bit as I made my long approach towards the academy through the paved gardens that surrounded it. The school building was odd. One side was built of a striking red brick that was framed by a green slated roof and elegant Romanesque arched windows. The other was more akin to an old apartment building that you'd find in the more run down areas of Dublin city. It was grey with a flat roof, the windows were rectangular and had wooden sills segmenting them into a grid of smaller squares, the lower levels of the building were also supporting quite a healthy coat of moss and ivy or at least the Japanese equivalent.

The two buildings were connected by a narrow structure which probably only served as a way to get from one building to the other without going outside, it sported the same arched windows as the new building but with functionality in mind rather than aesthetics. Finally there was the famous Fumizuki bell tower which was connected to the new building. It was even stranger than the main building as it tried to incorporate both styles of architecture present. Half of the tower was made of the bland grey concrete that the old building was made of while the other half had the same framed red brick as the new building. The roof however, was obviously based off the new building as it was sharply pointed and supported the same green slates.

Then the bell rung. Ding, ding, ding, dong. My feelings could no longer be held back. Memories of walking the gritty streets of my home town filled my head. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I remembered the bells of the many cathedrals and how they would reverberate through the streets I and my small group of friends used to walk. A sudden rush of realisation hit me and I glanced down at my watch.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, "I'm gonna be fucking late."

I wiped the nostalgic tears from my cheek and began to rush along the cobblestone path as fast as my arm load of books could let me. It was embarrassingly slow for someone with my size and build but I didn't care.

"Well Fumizuki, let's see what you have to offer." I smirked as I picked up my pace. My love of running and the dread of being late for my first day at a new school in a new country allowed me to maintain a firm grip on my textbooks as I ran. I startled a group of third year girls as I turned a corner rather sharply but luckily nothing happened.

Finally I reached the main entrance and was greeted by a tall woman with pink hair.

"Ah, hello you must be Dan." She spoke in English. "I am Ms. Takahashi, the year two head and I will be you guide to the academy today." Even though she had an upbeat tone to her voice I could instantly hear her sinister side through this feeble disguise.

"H-hello, Ms. Takanashi..." I started my lousy Japanese already stretched to it's limit. "I-I'm glad t-to make your a-acquaintance." I could see that she was already beginning to pity me I blushed with embarrassment and anger.

"There is no need to stress your self out before your placement exam has even begun." She explained. Her voice was so patronising that I felt that I was going insane. "You can speak English today if you wish. However, I must warn you that it will be very hard to succeed in a Japanese school by speaking in broken Mandarin."

That did it. I could no longer hold back my embarrassment. Speaking bad Japanese was bad enough but to have mixed it up with Mandarin was a truly dumb thing to do. Ms. Takanashi ushered me in and then lead me on a tour of the school and it's facilities. I felt like dying.

The girls I had bumped into in the plaza ended up being my mentors for the day and it seems that they had heard of my slip up earlier on as they kept whispering and giggling. From what I could make out half the school already knew because people kept greeting me in both Mandarin and Cantonese for the rest of the day. I spent half an hour contemplating drowning my self in the pool next to the gym.

Finally it was time for me to take my placement exam. The girls, which I was sure by now that their teasing was because they thought I was cute, wished me luck in broken English and let me enter the examination room, but not after getting suffocating hugs from each of them. I walked confidently into the examination hall and sat down in the only desk present in the room. I looked around slightly baffled by the lack of other students in the room.

Shortly after I sat down a man walked into the room. He was big not much bigger than me but a lot bigger than any of the other men I had seen today.

"Hello my name is Mr. Nishimura." He said gruffly.

"This must be the guy the other students were calling Ironman." I thought.

"I am Fumizuki Academy's counsellor." His English was not as good as that of Ms. Takanashi's but I could clearly understand what he was saying.

"You may be wondering why you are here on your own and why you haven't met anyone but third years today. Well that is because of your special circumstances." He slowly continued.

"Due to your unavailability during the actual placement exams and your very specific line-up of subjects, it was only possible to hold your placement exam on the same day that the new term starts for third years." His explanation made quite a lot of sense. It wouldn't be fair to ask me to move to Japan to do the placement exam and then expect me to wait a few months before I actually started in the new school.

"Your results in this exam will decide wha-"

"It's okay sir." I chirped in instantly regretting doing so. "I have done some research on how the academy works. So I would just like to get on with the exam if you wouldn't mind." Nothing scared me more in my life than the look on Mr. Nishimura's face that day.

"I like your 'get on with it' style kid." Ironman said. "But rudeness won't get you very far in this school."

The glistening pool seemed even more inviting than it had earlier on.

"Fine," he finally said, "here is your paper. You have an hour to answer as many questions as you can. Just ask if you need more paper or questions."

With that Ironman sat down at the desk at the top of the room and I began what could possibly be the most important test in my life.


	2. Part 2

_Part 2: Morning Blues_

My alarm rang early it's steady, shrill beeping pierced my ears like hot needles. I arose groggily using the back of my left hand to wipe away the flakes of sleep from my eyes. One flake was especially stubborn and required a much more forceful tug before coming loose. This was at the expense of only a small bit of pain.

Silencing the alarm as I passed I trudged towards the wardrobe that my mom had sent from Ireland. I wrenched open the solid oak door before remembering it would be a better idea to wash myself before dressing. Mom had sent quite a few pieces of furniture over in the hopes that they would be useful, but, so far the extra chairs in the kitchen/living room were only getting in my way.

The minty taste of the toothpaste really contrasted it's grainy texture and it began to froth in my mouth as i spread it over my teeth with the back and forth motion of the toothbrush. Once I was finished brushing I expelled the foam from my mouth and hastily began washing my face and armpits. I applied some cheap deodorant under my arms and returned to my room to change.

The male uniform for Fumizuki Academy consisted of a white, short sleeved shirt with black borders, royal blue trousers, and a light overcoat that was black and finished with a fine rim of gold. There was also a royal blue tie but I couldn't find mine.

I stood in front of the smudged mirror that was built into the wardrobe as I attempted to tame my hair with what was the smallest comb I had ever used. My reflection stared back at me hunched over like an ape. I straightened up and immediately groaned. There was a low crunching sound as I forced my spine into the correct alignment. It was followed by a feeling of alertness that you'd usually feel after having a good nap before dinner. My mood improved ten fold.

My stomach began to protest against my lack of haste to get some food. Obeying my natural urge to eat I shuffled into the kitchen and began to prepare some instant noodles.

As the kettle began to boil I decided it would be a good idea to look at my timetable so that I would be prepared for what today had in store for me. It was pretty standard stuff history, sciences, language, maths but I got a little annoyed when I noticed there was no sign of either form of Chinese on it.

"Those third years must have been bluffing." I grumbled as the kettle whined signalling that the water had finally finished boiling.

The instant noodles were rather nice really, even though they had such a high salt content it was good to eat something that wasn't stale for once. I lazily scooped them into my mouth with a fork letting the salty flavour tease my taste buds before swallowing. I blushed slightly at the dirty thoughts I was having while eating.

I would have used some disposable chopsticks to eat the noodles but I was under some time restraint as I had spent too much time admiring myself in the mirror prior to preparing my breakfast.

After checking my watch I gulped the rest of the noodles down and promptly went to search for my school bag. I found it under a pile of mixed manga and I hastily went about packing what I would need for the rest of the school day. Books, pens, pencils, etc. All of these things, including a light novel and some manga. You know for when I have some free time.

I found my tie under the bed after an extensive search and at last I was ready to face the day. I opened my front door and for the first time in almost a week, I left the house with the intention of not returning for more than six hours. I locked my apartment door behind me. I was not confident that the flimsy door would be able to hold out anything but I had no time for this feeling of unease.

Finally it was time for the new school year to start. A feeling of nervous excitement came over me as I started down towards my first day of classes at Fumizuki Academy.


End file.
